Signed in as:
filler@godaddy.com
Healthy Boundaries
This part of the website is Under Construction
Protecting Your Land
Think of your life like a piece of land.
Your thoughts, feelings, body, time, energy, memories, and relationships all live on that land.
A boundary is how you protect it.
It is how you decide:
Who is allowed on your land
How close they can come
What behaviour is acceptable
What behaviour is not
Boundaries are not about controlling other people. They are about protecting you. You do not need permission to protect your land.
What Is a Boundary
Why We Use Boundaries
Why We Use Boundaries
A boundary is a limit that protects your:
- Emotional wellbeing
- Mental health
- Physical safety
- Time and energy
- Right to think freely
- Right to feel safe in relationships
A boundary answers two simple questions:
What is okay for me
What is not okay for me
Boundaries can be:
- Gentle
- Firm
- Temporary
- Long-term
They are not punishments.
They are decisions about safety.
Why We Use Boundaries
Why We Use Boundaries
Why We Use Boundaries
We use boundaries so that:
- Other people’s emotions do not become our responsibility
- We are not pressured into choices that do not feel right
- We do not lose ourselves trying to keep others calm
- We can stay connected without being controlled
- We feel safe to think, speak, and feel honestly
Without boundaries, people can walk onto your land whenever they choose. Even when they do not mean harm, damage still happens.
Boundaries stop the damage from spreading.
The Boundary Ladder
Why We Use Boundaries
The Boundary Ladder
What Happens When Boundaries Are Ignored
Not everyone respects the first boundary you set.
Some people will:
Scuff the line in your sand
Swing a leg over your picket fence
Climb your brick wall
Each time that happens, your boundary must move up a level to properly protect you.
This is not you being difficult.
This is you responding to repeated disrespect.
Levels of Metaphoric Boundaries
The Line in the Sand
Your First Boundary
This is your early warning boundary.
It is for the first moment something feels off.
You are saying:
This does not feel okay
Please stop
Examples:
- Please do not talk about that
- That makes me uncomfortable
- I need you to stop messaging right now
- That is not okay for me
This boundary is small and calm.
It gives the other person a chance to adjust.
But some people will scuff your line in the sand.
They ignore it.
They joke about it.
They push again later.
They tell you that you are too sensitive.
When someone scuffs your boundary instead of respecting it, you move up.
The Picket Fence
Limited Access
This is a controlled boundary.
You are now saying:
You may come this close
But no closer
You still allow some access, but you clearly restrict it.
Examples:
- I will talk to you, but not about the past
- I will visit, but only for a short time
- I will reply, but not straight away
- I will talk in group settings only
This boundary is for relationships where you:
- Still want some connection
- But no longer feel safe with full access
Some people will swing a leg over your fence.
They push your limits.
They stretch the time.
They guilt you.
They test your rules.
They act entitled to more access.
When this keeps happening, you do not lower your fence.
You build a wall.
Our Services
We offer a range of services to help our clients achieve their goals, including academic counseling, test preparation, career coaching, and more. Whether you are a high school student preparing for college, a professional looking to advance your career, or anyone in between, we can help.
Testimonials
Don't just take our word for it. Read what our clients have to say about their experience with Amanda Sillars. We are proud to have helped so many individuals achieve their goals and we look forward to helping you too.
Blog
Stay up-to-date with the latest educational news and trends by reading our blog. Our team of experts regularly shares insights and advice on a variety of topics related to education and career development.
Contact Us
Ready to take the next step? Contact us today to learn more about our services and how we can help you achieve your goals. We look forward to hearing from you!
Copyright © 2025 Pure Happenstance Pty Ltd - All Rights Reserved.